32 Teams, 32 Stories – The 2014 NFL Season

It may only be the beginning of June but with team rosters unlikely to change much between now and Labor Day (except for cuts of course) we have a pretty good idea of all of the teams’ make-ups for 2014. Here we look at the primary operative factor for each team and what that will likely mean (we realise the numbers don’t add up – Who cares. It’s not an exact science, that’s for sure):

AFC East

Buffalo Bills – The more things change….. The Bills Sammy Watkins/Stevie Johnson swap was pretty much a push except it cost the Bills two (2) first round draft picks. They should have used one of them on a quarterback because EJ Manuel was the worst starter in the league last year. Losing Byrd et al the Bills figure to lose even more games. Prediction: 3-13.

New York Jets – Without a good quarterback or corner back it is hard to do well in today’s NFL. If the Jets turn it over to Vick soon enough, if Vick stays healthy enough and if the corner backs play well enough the Jets could contend for a wild card – But they won’t. Prediction: 6-10

Miami Dolphins – The Dolphins always seem to do enough in the off-season to contend but the wheels always fall off. Miami needs Tannehill to become clutch and all of their off-season moves to work out – Which they won’t. Prediction: 5-11

New England Patriots – New England went 12-4 last year with the heart of their defence ripped out and a dearth of pass catchers. If 2014 is a reasonably normal injury year they go back to a super bowl participant. Prediction: 14-2, Super Bowl Winner

AFC North

Cleveland Browns – No soup for Cleveland yet. Hoyer is good but won’t get the chance. Gordon is a clown. Manziel needs to learn the ropes. The defence will carry them but only so far. Prediction: 8-8
Update:  Hoyer is getting the job done and the Browns are headed to 10-6 or better.

Baltimore Ravens – With their offence/Joe Flacco their defense needs to be dominating – It isn’t and likely won’t be next year either. Kubiak is a huge negative.  Prediction: 4-12

Cincinnati Bengals– The window has closed. After three straight years in the hunt the wheels fall off again. Dipsomaniac Zimmer and Baby Jay Gruden may be a terrible head coaches but will be missed – Too much. Dalton never had what it takes. Prediction: 6-10

Pittsburgh Steelers – Someone has to win this division and the Steelers look poised to regain top dog spot. Lebeau, fresh blood on defence, Blount & Bell, a re-invigorated OLine and some new targets turn 8-4 (last 12 games in 2013) into division winner and AFC Championship loser. Prediction: 12-4

AFC South

Tennessee Titans – It goes from bad to worse as Wisenhunt is not good (to put it kindly) and neither side of the ball is world beating (it is going to be ugly). Prediction: 3-13

Houston Texans – The Texan’s 2014 season hinges on Case Keenum of all people. If Keenum can win the starting job and resemble the stud at the University of Houston by making the famous “second year leap” the Texans can win the division or at least grab a wild card. O’Brien will field a competitive team given the talent on the roster for sure, with or without Johnson. Cushing could stay healthy, Clowney could meet expectations and this could be fun. Fitzpatrick under center however means 16 more paid practices – We are gambling on Keenum. Prediction: 11-5

Jacksonville Jaguars – Bradley is turning this ship around but it is a big ship and that takes time. No longer an assumed “W”, hopefully Bortles sits a good part of the year (but not all of it) and the Jags get halfway around. Prediction: 8-8

Indianapolis Colts – The only team in recent memory to throw an entire season to get one player, the despised Colts won by default last year. With 7 interceptions in his last two starts Andrew Luck is starting to show some spots. If the officials would now stop giving him so many calls at the exact wrong time for the opposition we would get to see what there is – We are guessing mot much. We expect his free ride to end but anything can happen when Isray is involved. Prediction 7-9

AFC West

Oakland Raiders – No soft schedule this year for the West (4-12 could have been worse without the two freebies) but the team looks much better albeit older. No idea where this is going (does anyone?) Prediction: 7-9

Kansas City Chiefs – The softest schedule except SF and SEA last year = 9-0 start. Not so this year. Back to the drawing board. Prediction 2-14 (or 4-12)

San Diego Chargers – Hard to trust a team that lost to Washington last year but with Wisenhunt jettisoned this could be good. Another good gamble (we think). Prediction: 13-3 but eliminated by Steelers.

Denver Broncos – We don’t expect the off-season moves to work out at all. Ward is a filthy scumbag who if the league doesn’t take care of a vigilante will, Ware is cooked and Talib is insane (or soon will be with all that money). The entire Bronco offence was predicated on illegal picks and whatever last year was about with all those questionable TD’s (#50 was not a TD for sure) it is hard to imagine lightning striking twice after that horrendous super bowl. Prediction: 9-7

NFC East

Dallas Cowboys – Decimated (and that’s before training camp) the Cowboys should have pulled an Oakland and stripped down the entire team. This is Romo’s last (part) year. At least they will beat Washington twice. Prediction: 4-12

Philadelphia Eagles – Chip Kelly seems to be onto something good. The team can’t help but be better having dumped scumbag Sean something or something Shawn whoever (the gang guy). Foles looks like the real deal – We think so. Prediction: 12-4

NY Giants – Things were looking good and then they lost their secondary. If they have to count on Prince dum dum (the worst press-corner ever born) they will be in trouble. Still, they should be fun to watch. Prediction:  10-6

Washington Redskins – Booby Griffon the tird will toil into ignominy while the garbage Washington picked up in the off-season rots. Hard to imagine something worse than last year, nevertheless… Prediction: 0-16

NFC North

Detroit Lions – Teams generally get better or worse and the Lions sure aren’t getting any better. Stafford symbolizes their plight – Large promise, poor performance. Prediction: 3-13

Chicago Bears – Jay Cutler’s obscene contract, Jared Allen “replacing” Julius Peppers, revolving lineman going nowhere, cutting Hester, ancient downright bad secondary – It doesn’t look good. Prediction: 3-13

Minnesota Vikings – Zimmer must have been drinking heavily during the draft as it was a disaster. The Vikings looked close to contending. Enter Terry Bridgewater and the Twin Cities crumbled into Lake Superior (it was a LONG tumble) – You get the picture. On pace to 10-6 or 11-5 before the draft, how many losses does Bridgewater rack up before Cassel has another mess to clean up (at least he got a couple million dollar raise to do it this year)? We guess six. Prediction 6-10.

Green Bay Packers – The Pack win the division by default even if Matt Flynn starts every game. Peppers will wow ya as the defense catches up. Prediction 14-2, NFC Championship Game

NFC South

Carolina Panthers – Cam Newton will be doing a lot more crying on the turf (watch the final drive of last year’s New England game if you can get an un-edited copy) and pounding the ground as the Panthers slide back to mediocrity and then some (don’t let the kids watch – very scary). Prediction:  2-14

Atlanta Falcons – Lots of help on both lines – Just not sure how helpful they will be. We give them a 50-50 chance. Prediction 8-8

Tampa Bay Bucs – Another big ship to turn around in Florida and again we see Smith this time getting his team halfway there this year as well. Prediction: 8-8

New Orleans Saints – Even without Jimmy Graham the Saints would be poised to re-assert themselves this year. Byrd could be the domino they need. Prediction 15-1, NFC Championship Game

NFC West

Arizona Cardinals – The most over-rated division in football should be brought down a peg with a much tougher schedule this year (last years was ridiculously soft) and the first pretender to topple will be the Cards. Washington’s suspension becomes the theme for the year and never forget Carson Palmer is the QB. Prediction: 5-11

San Francisco 49’ers – You can finally start calling this Harbaaah’s team this year (for the most part) as the decline continues at an accelerated rate. Now that Kaepernick got paid the leader of the 30^th rated passing offence he will show his true colors as the older, slower and depleted defence can no longer carry him. This year they miss the play-offs, next year they drop below 0.500. Prediction: 8-8

Seattle Seahawks – Last year’s champs won’t be repeating as the Saints and the Packers have improved enough while the Seahawks regressed if anything. Maybe a wild card – Maybe not. If Wilson gets tested this year he might turn into a real QB. He will have to as teams bring the mad fumbler (Lynch) back to earth. The guy disses the President? Seriously? Prediction: 9-7

St. Louis Rams – It is highly possible that Sam Bradford is the best QB in the division – That’s not saying much as Palmer stinks and the other two haven’t had to do anything yet but if he is, and he stays healthy all year (as well as Long) they-could-go-all-the-way – But they won’t. Maybe next year we get a Patriot-Ram super bowl rematch. They will have to settle for the division this year. Prediction: 10-6